Update 2024The book I mentioned in 2023 has now been published. I don't know that I'm supposed to put the title here but it's a pink book and the word Lazarus is in the title. Barbara and I have become friends since I first read her book. A book I still highly recommend! To counter the reviewers who say she should have written it more gender-neutral I have this to say. Both of us wrote what we felt the Lord called us to write about and in my case it was specifically about Christian wives. Both of us acknowledge that there is women on men abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse. But God didn't tell us to write about those other categories. So if you're unhappy that she/we did not write about one of those areas of concern, please feel free to do a Google search because you will find many books addressing those subjects. In both of our cases she and I wrote regarding what turns out to be secondary abuse of domestically abused wives by the church as an organization. Not all churches, thank God, but many. We come at it from different directions and I believe both books are valuable for the insight given. Neither one of us advocate for or against divorce as a general principle, for I believe both of us consider it a decision a woman should make with her Lord. The decision should not be coerced upon her by the pastors, the elders, nosy church members, or religious family members. No one but God and the woman know what really and truly happened in that marriage; she is accountable to HIM...none of us have been granted the role of being her personal Holy Spirit.Both Barbara and I are against treacherous divorce which includes "I just don't love my spouse anymore.", "He or she is just not a nice person and I'm done.", "I found someone else I'm truly in love with." , or "I just don't want to be married anymore." Each of these are examples of treacherous divorce that are not condoned in any way. Our hearts go out to women whose husbands are sanctimoniously "godly" in church but in the privacy of the marriage drop the mask to reveal a devilish heart. Romans chapter 1 can be read in a limited manner to just apply to sexual relationships not condoned by our God. But from verse 28 to verse 32 there is a list of behaviors exhibited by those who have turned from God and some, to every one, of those descriptions can be applied to habitual domestic abusers. Their practiced behavior coincides with the descriptions of 2nd Timothy 3:2-5 confirming the lack of relationship with Jesus, and Paul says from such turn away. And he doesn't say "unless you have the bad fortune of your husband revealing himself to be that man."Update 2023We will celebrate 40 years of marriage in 4 months. Since the time of my original review, God has given me subject material for writing a book to pastors dealing with practical matters of domestic abuse in their sphere of influence. It is in the publishing process now.Many years ago I first purchased the book Not Under Bondage and was delightfully astounded at Ms Roberts thorough research and incredibly complete handling of the subject of biblical divorce. After reading it I shared it with someone else and have not had a copy of my own for 9 years!What God gave me to write is not in any way like hers but did begin when I (as CameAlongside) wrote a couple of articles that Ms Roberts graciously published on the blog that she administrated. Recently I decided to purchase a replacement copy of her book so I could reread the wealth therein. I am again overwhelmed at the depth and the detail that Ms Roberts applied when authoring this book. Her attention to supporting her conclusions via named sources is lengthy beyond expectation. Her skill with the written word is enviable. I continue to HIGHLY recommend this book. I would encourage pastors to contact their denominational leadership about yearly conventions and ask them to contact Barbara regarding designing breakout sessions to teach leadership about the nuances of domestic abuse, to be taught about the tools they have, the deceptions abusers use, and how to help those that, with great fear, reveal themselves to be dying from abuse in the place that was designed to be their sanctuary: marriage.***2014I am 60 this year and have been in Pentecostal churches since I was born, and active in many lay roles since I turned 18. Married 30 years, I have NEVER been abused. On the contrary, my wonderful husband has been an example to other women of how a godly man respects and treats his wife with affection and care. However, the lack of scriptural understanding, and thus compassion and help, IN THE CHURCH, for victims of marital abuse is appalling. Yes, men are sometimes victimized, but usually it is women. And after they are abused in their marriage they are often passively to actively abused by their churches when they go for help. (Thank God my particular church and pastor are not like that!) One must read the Bible in context, considering who was being written/spoken to and what were already the cultural norms of the day. (i.e. STUDY the book, not just give it a cursive reading!) If I wrote about my photos being stored 'in the cloud' and it was read by a person from 78AD they would be looking at the sky convinced I was nuts. The reverse is also true. What kind of actions were men taking against or neglecting to do for their wives in Biblical times? How do Scriptural mandates appear when considered in the light of commonly held practices of the day?Barbara Roberts clearly explains all of the above points and holds out great hope and freedom to women (and men, to a degree) who have been bound to a spouse (who has already broken faith and vows) by the church that insists they are in sin if they don't submit to the offending spouse after abandonment and/or habitual abuse.This writer in no way condones 'get out of jail free' divorces of desire or convenience or the breaking of one's own vows. But she does correct the thinking that churches have used to, for years, subjugate women into forced surrender to a spouse that has already, by his actions, broken covenant, ended the marriage and, by his continued actions, shows no willingness to alter his behavior. Her filing for divorce in that instance is simply legally ratifying what the abuser has broken.LIke I already stated, I have not been abused, but until you walk for years with women extricating themselves from an abusive spouse or trying to obtain legal help to escape from the abusive spouse that abandoned her and kept abusing her, you have no idea the evil that goes on behind closed doors. Nor do you have any idea how smooth the abuser is when telling the church and state authorities how it's "all her fault". Nor do you have any clue of the pain experienced when the church believes and supports the abusing husband and castigates the victim wife for being thrown out, or for being in severe emotional and mental distress from the PTSD that accompanies and follows the years of abuse! Abuse that's been carefully crafted away from public exposure. Thank you, Barbara, for the prison doors you have opened!